When you hear the term likable badass, you get it. It’s more than a catchy term of endearment, though. It has a specific meaning, rooted in psychology, that is central to our discussion of status.
To understand the definition, we need to begin with the science of how people judge other people. Every time you observe, or even hear a story about, another person, you draw conclusions about their underlying personality, abilities and traits. Other people do the same to you.
You might think that because no two people are the same, our judgments of them are likely to be just as varied. That’s not the case.
Our perceptions of people are organized around two fundamental dimensions: Warm-Cold and Assertive-Submissive.
What Is a Likable Badass?
A likable badass is someone, usually a woman, who others perceive as being both strong and warm.
Warm-Cold (Likable)
When we observe other people, one thing we try to figure out is how they’ll treat us — will they care about us, will they help us, will they be pleasant?
This is the Warm-Cold dimension of person perception, and it captures our social functioning — how well we get along with others.
A person at the Warm end of the continuum is one we perceive to be very concerned about others and who interacts well with them. There are a lot of different ways that a person could convey Warmth, such as being agreeable, charitable, respectful or cooperative.
A person at the Cold end of the spectrum would be perceived as the opposite: impolite, uncivil, quarrelsome and uncooperative.
Assertive-Submissive (Badass)
The other thing we try to figure out about people is how capable they are — will they work hard, will they avoid mistakes, will they produce good work?
This is the Assertive-Submissive dimension of person perception, and it captures our task functioning — how well we can complete tasks, achieve goals and get things done.
An Assertive person is one we perceive to be very capable of succeeding at whatever is asked of them. We would describe this person using adjectives like competent, organized, self-confident, ambitious and persistent.
A Submissive person, on the other hand, is perceived as incapable of accomplishing tasks successfully, characterized by descriptors like timid, self-doubting, meek, lazy and unproductive.
The Circle of Perception
As the illustrations suggest, each dimension is a continuum, so a person can fall anywhere along a given line. And each dimension comprises multiple traits (even more than I’ve listed here).
To be perceived as very Warm, for example, you don’t necessarily need to check every box on the list. You just need to do something that leads people to conclude that you play well with others. Being agreeable is different than being charitable, but they’re both signals of Warmth. Similarly, persistence and self-confidence both signal Assertiveness, even though they are different qualities.
This is an important point to remember as we explore the relevance of these dimensions for status — how you show up matters a lot, but there are lots of different ways to get there. For simplicity, I’ll usually refer to these dimensions as Warm and Assertive (or Warmth and Assertiveness), while occasionally referring to the other endpoints (Cold and Submissive).
And as you can see, I capitalize Warm and Assertive (or Cold and Submissive) when referring to the dimensions, to distinguish them from the specific characteristics of warmth and assertiveness. So when you see these words capitalized, remind yourself that I'm referring to groups of traits, not any one in particular.
When you put the two dimensions together and graph them, they form the axes of a 360-degree space known in psychology as the interpersonal circumplex. Perceptions of others can fall anywhere in this circle, reflecting different judgments of Assertiveness and Warmth.
4 Main Ways We Show Up in the World
For our purposes, it’s helpful to think of this circle in four quadrants. Moving counterclockwise from the top left, we have the following:
Hostile Strength: A person perceived as Cold and Assertive. They can get things done, but no one enjoys them. If the person is a woman, they may be labeled “aggressive” or “a bitch” and told they are “too much.”
Hostile Weakness: A person perceived as Cold and Submissive. This person is both ineffective and uncaring.
Friendly Weakness: A person perceived as Warm and Submissive. This person is sweet and harmless, but not very capable. If the person is a woman, they may be told they lack “confidence” or “presence” and told they are “not enough.”
Friendly Strength: A person perceived as Assertive and Warm. This person can both get along and get things done. This is likable badass territory.
From LIKEABLE BADASS: How Women Get the Success They Deserve by Alison Fragale, PhD. Copyright © 2024 by Alison Fragale. Published by arrangement with Doubleday, an imprint of The Knopf Doubleday Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.
