You might think bullying is something you left behind in high school, but it’s a very real issue in the workplace. Roughly 32 percent of U.S. employees have been bullied on the job, and another 14 percent have witnessed it, according to a 2024 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute.
You may be reluctant to call out bullying for fear of tainting workplace relationships or losing your job. A bully may even try to manipulate you into thinking you are being too sensitive. In this article, we’ll teach you how to handle a workplace bully and reclaim your sense of autonomy and happiness in your professional life.
How to Handle Workplace Bullying
- Confront the bully
- Research company policies
- Document incidents
- Report the bully
- Take care of your mental health
- Seek legal counsel
- Find a new job
What Is Workplace Bullying?
The Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) defines workplace bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment by one or more employees.” This includes verbal or nonverbal abuse that could be perceived as threatening, intimidating or humiliating.
Bullying is not an isolated incident; it’s persistent and intended to make the target feel bad. It’s not necessarily bullying, for example, if a manager issues a poor performance review to an employee who did not reach expectations. It is bullying, though, if the manager assigns an employee a disproportionately heavy workload, or if they lie or twist facts to damage the employee’s reputation.
Workplace bullying can take many forms, including:
- Calling someone names or insulting them
- Persistent unfair criticism of another person
- Deliberately embarrassing someone in front of others
- Sending aggressive or threatening messages
- Spreading rumors or lies about someone
- Stealing credit for another person’s work
- Withholding information relevant to one’s job
- Excluding someone from meetings or social gatherings
Workplace bullying is not necessarily illegal, unless it qualifies as a hostile work environment, which is pervasive harassment based on a protected characteristic, like race, sex or religion.
What Causes Workplace Bullying?
Workplace bullying often stems from a combination of personal insecurities and external pressures. Because they feel inadequate in their abilities, a bully may try to undermine their fellow employees and make them feel inferior in order to feel more powerful.
In 65 percent cases, the bully is a manager harassing someone below them in the chain of command, according to a 2021 WBI study. In these cases, the manager may feel threatened by high-performing employees, or they may believe their authority entitles them to manipulate, degrade and humiliate their subordinates however they see fit.
Bullying can be exacerbated by stressful circumstances or scarce resources. Colleagues might undercut each other to win a promotion or keep their job in the next round of layoffs. Managers might send aggressive messages to push employees in high-pressure situations, or they may use an employee as a scapegoat for poor team performance.
The Impact of Workplace Bullying
Working with a bully can create a constant sense of fear, leaving you feeling like you are walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them. You may also feel lonely or isolated if it seems like your coworkers are siding with the bully — either through their actions or lack thereof. At the end of the day, bullying can take a toll on your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem and difficulty sleeping.
Bullying can be bad for business, too. Victims may not have the psychological safety to be creative and collaborate with others, which stifles innovation and productivity. Bullying may also contribute to absenteeism or presenteeism, as bullied employees are often distracted or emotionally withdrawn from their work. Over time, bullying can create an increasingly toxic work environment, which makes it difficult to recruit and retain top talent.
How to Handle Workplace Bullying
While approaches may vary depending on personality types and organizational cultures, these are a few steps you can take to handle a workplace bully.
Confront the Bully
A good first step in dealing with a bully is to clearly and calmly let them know that their behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. Identifying the bullying as it happens is ideal because their words or actions are fresh in everyone’s minds. It also draws a line in the sand of what is unacceptable. If left unchecked, the bully’s behavior could continue to escalate and become more abusive.
If your emotions are running high or you don’t know what to say, it may be best to postpone the conversation to a later date. When you’re ready, start by identifying the problematic behavior, explaining the ramifications of that behavior and proposing a solution to the problem. It can also be helpful to use the bully’s name during the conversation, which commands their attention and shows that this is a situation to be taken seriously.
Research Company Policies
Review your company’s employee handbook for an anti-bullying or anti-harassment policy that outlines any processes for reporting, investigating and resolving complaints of bullying. Bullying occurs in environments where it’s allowed to occur, so HR leaders should take bullying allegations seriously if they want to foster an inclusive culture.
Document Incidents
Keep a detailed record of each bullying incident, noting dates, times and other people who were present. Save any emails or messages that are aggressive, threatening or degrading. If the bully is criticizing your performance, compile any reports, accolades or compliments you’ve received that highlight your accomplishments. This documentation could serve as a valuable reference if you decide to report the bully to your boss or the human resources department.
Report the Bully
If your efforts to confront the bully have been ineffective, it may be time to report the issue to your supervisor or the human resources team, depending on who you trust more. If your supervisor is bullying you, or if they are close friends with the bully, you may want to report the issue to someone higher up in the organization.
When you share your story, provide specific examples of the bully’s behavior, any documentation you’ve kept and any witnesses who are willing to back up your side of the story. HR will also want to see that you’ve tried to resolve the situation on your own, so share any actions you’ve taken so far. You can also propose solutions, like transferring to another department or resolving the conflict with the assistance of a facilitator or mediator.
Take Care of Your Mental Health
Dealing with a bully can be mentally taxing, but you shouldn’t let it get the best of you. While you address the situation at work, consider seeking support from a therapist, who can help you process your emotions and offer advice for handling the situation. It can also be helpful to engage in activities that make you happy, like spending time with family and friends, getting involved with community groups and exploring new hobbies. Exercise can be particularly helpful for relieving stress. These activities will enrich your life and remind you that the world is so much bigger than your workplace bully.
Seek Legal Counsel
If you have tried unsuccessfully to work out the issue with the bully and management, you may want to seek legal advice. To make a hostile work environment claim, an employee must be harassed based on a legally protected status — like their race, sex or disability — and the harassment needs to be pervasive enough to be considered intimidating, hostile or abusive. An employer may be held liable if they’ve taken retaliatory action (like termination or demotion) against the targeted employee. The employer may also be held liable if they’ve failed to take remedial action once notified about the harassment.
Find a New Job
If the bullying is getting to be too much to bear and HR isn’t taking your complaints seriously, it may be time to look for a new job. Sadly, 23 percent of bullying victims leave their jobs to escape mistreatment, according to the 2021 WBI study. About 17 percent are forced out, and 12 percent are transferred to another team. In contrast, only 11 percent of perpetrators are punished for bullying, and just 9 percent are fired.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you deal with a bully at work?
You must confront the bully and let them know their behavior is unacceptable. You should also document specific incidents and consider reporting the person’s behavior to your boss or HR. This can be a stressful situation, so it’s important to look after your mental health outside of work — and maybe even seek counseling.
What are the signs of bullying in the workplace?
Verbal insults, unfair criticism and public humiliation are all signs of bullying in the workplace.
Bullies might also spread rumors, isolate you from get-togethers and try to sabotage your work. If a manager is a bully, they might assign excess work or treat one employee worse than other employees.
How to stand up for yourself against bullies at work?
Standing up to bullies takes courage, but it’s necessary to let them know that you will not tolerate their behavior. Clearly and calmly tell them what they did wrong and explain why that behavior is inappropriate for the workplace. Call them by their name and look them in the eye to show you’re serious. Document all incidences of bullying in case you decide to report them to your manager or the HR department.
