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Ari Newman of Techstars speaks at Angel Investor Insights, Boulder Startup Week

The entrepreneur stood up and introduced himself to the large crowd gathered around a panel of angel investors organized for Boulder Startup Week. "And I'm looking to raise..."

"NO!" The moderator of the event, Elizabeth Kraus cut him off. Public solicitation, she explained, while no longer illegal, strictly requires registration with the SEC. Or else. "But you already know this, right?" She said to the crowd of entrepreneurs.

Ari Newman of TechStars, Sue Heilbronner of Boulder Ideas, Robert-Fenwick Smith of Aravaipa, and Morris Wheeler of Drummond Road Capital joined Kraus of Impact Angel Group outside at the bandshell in downtown Boulder to share their take on why, as angels, they do what they do.

One common theme emerged: they want a relationship.

Relationships though, begin with dating. So how does an entrepreneur get a date with an angel? Public solicitation obviously doesn't work. Sue Heilbronner encourages people to research first. Read her website and make sure there's a good fit. "Do the work to find out what turns me on." Then, get an introduction. For nearly all angels, qualified references are a must.

A date could be going on a hike with the founder, Ari Newman suggests. Getting to know each other is paramount. But don't front. His advice: "Optimize for the success of the business, not the optics of investing." In other words, don't use pickup lines. Happiness is the most attractive feature in a person—and a startup.

"The dance before the investment is fake," said Robert-Fenwick Smith, who has seen plenty of entrepreneurs who are good at pitching, but bad at business. And vice-versa. His strategy? Start the dance. He makes small initial investments and continues to invest in those relationships over time to build companies.

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Sue Heilbronner brings a smile.

Nobody wants to go on a hundred coffee dates and not meet anyone interesting. Investors want to invest. Or as Morris Wheeler said, "to buy friends." Angel investing is an inefficient way to make money. So why does he do it? Because it's the start of a meaningful relationship. "It's not just a date, it's like having kids."

It's a common refrain that investors focus on great teams over great products. For one, products tend to change more rapidly than people do. But mostly, it takes a great team to navigate the long journey to success. Perhaps though this line of thinking has overlooked the idea that angel investors focus on "great teams" because they'll have a lot more fun working with those people along the way.

For entrepreneurs, raising money is a necessary, exhausting, single-minded endeavor. That focus however can be counter-productive when meeting with an angel investor who is looking for a dynamic relationship. Chemistry sparks when people are looking for the same thing. Understanding where angels are coming from is crucial. "I invest because I like to build relationships that are amazing," Heilbronner said. "I assume that I will never see that money again."

"Raising money from angels is exhausting," said Newman. "Less money with the right people is better than more money with the wrong people." So lighten up, have fun, and be yourself.

Kraus ended the session sharing a time she stumbled upon an interview with an entrepreneur she'd invested in. The entrepreneur was speaking so passionately about what she was doing, it brought Kraus to tears. "If I never made money [investing], I'd still be the happiest person in the world."

Kraus paused, then added, "But I'm absolutely intent on making money."